Hi, I’m Heather, and I don’t “work the room.”
You won’t find me in the middle of the reception, laughing with a crowd of new best friends while flawlessly balancing a glass of wine and a stack of business cards. At legal events, I tend to hover near the back of the room, skim the agenda like it might offer a socially acceptable escape route, and gravitate toward familiar faces—or empty space. I’m not shy. I’m not antisocial. I just don’t operate at full capacity in a room packed with strangers eager to engage in small talk.
If that sounds familiar, this blog is for you.
Somewhere along the way, “networking” became synonymous with being loud, visible, and endlessly engaging. The more hands you shake, the better. The more people you talk to, the more successful you must be. If you can command the room, you’re winning. And if you’d rather quietly observe it? Well, you must be doing something wrong.
But that’s not the whole story. Not even close.
You can be soft-spoken and still deeply connected. You can be thoughtful and still leave a lasting impression. You can dislike mingling—and still build a strong, effective professional network. You don’t need a big voice to be heard. You don’t need to be the most interesting person in the room. What you need is authenticity, curiosity, and a bit of strategy—none of which require pretending to be someone you’re not.
There’s a misconception that networking is performative—that success is measured by how “on” you can be. But at its core, networking isn’t about flash. It’s about connection. Introverts are more than capable of making connections. In fact, we often do it with more depth and intention than we give ourselves credit for.
If you're an introvert, chances are you're already bringing qualities that make for meaningful networking. You listen more than you speak. You observe. You remember details. You think before you respond. None of those traits are liabilities—they're assets that can help you build genuine and lasting connections. Networking doesn’t have to mean being the loudest voice in the room; it can be about forming deeper relationships and leaving a positive impression by being authentic.
You might just need to approach networking a little differently. For starters, give yourself permission to lower the volume and adjust your expectations. You don’t need to leave a conference with a stack of business cards and a sore jaw from forced smiling. Instead, shift your focus to having one or two meaningful conversations. If these feel authentic and like they could lead somewhere, that’s a success. Often, it’s the quality, not the quantity, of connections that matters most.
Legal conferences and professional events are often structured in ways that can actually work in your favor. Panels give you built-in conversation starters—everyone’s hearing the same content, reacting to the same ideas. Asking someone what they thought about a particular session is an easy, organic way to engage without forcing anything. And those between-session moments? They're small windows where people are just looking for a little company—not a performance.
You don’t have to walk into a room with a script, but having a few questions or talking points ready can help. And by the way, “So, what did you think of that panel?” is usually more effective than the classic “What do you do?”—which too often leads to a five-minute résumé rundown. Ask about topics instead of titles. You’ll get more human responses that way.
Prepare ahead of time by researching the event, its agenda, and the people you might want to connect with. Knowing who will be attending or speaking can help you identify key individuals you’d like to meet. Make a list of a few topics or questions to have ready—it can make starting conversations feel more natural. Focus on quality over quantity—having a few meaningful conversations can be far more impactful than trying to talk to everyone. You can also utilize tools like conference apps to connect virtually with attendees before or after the event, which can take some of the pressure off in-person interactions. Finally, set small, achievable goals for yourself, such as meeting three new people or attending two specific sessions. Having a plan can help you feel more in control, ensuring you get the most out of the experience without feeling overwhelmed.
Another thing: you are absolutely allowed to take breaks. Sneaking away for a moment of quiet doesn’t make you antisocial—it makes you self-aware. Take a breather. Go for a walk. Hide out at the coffee bar. Recharging isn’t slacking. It’s what helps you show up more fully for the next conversation. Even better if, through it all, you’re fully yourself. By staying true to who you are, you not only make the experience less exhausting but also ensure that the connections you build are genuine and mutually beneficial. Networking as an introvert is all about embracing your strengths and finding your own rhythm.
And don’t underestimate the value of a solid follow-up. You don’t have to dazzle in person if you’re thoughtful afterward. A quick, specific message the next day—something like, “It was great chatting after the compliance panel. I'd love to keep in touch”—can go further than a forgettable hallway conversation. Introverts tend to excel at written communication, so use that to your advantage.
You don’t need to be seen by everyone to be seen by the right people. Real impact comes from quality, not quantity. A handful of genuine, intentional connections is far more valuable than superficial exposure or fleeting interactions. Meaningful relationships take time, patience, and effort, but they pay dividends in trust, collaboration, and understanding. Let the extroverts float from group to group, seeking attention and casting a wide net. You focus on building depth, creating lasting bonds with people who truly matter, and aligning with your values. That’s where your true strength lies, in the power of authentic connection.
Being introverted doesn’t mean you're bad at networking. It just means your approach looks different. You move more slowly. You go deeper. You filter before you speak. You listen before you act. That’s not a weakness. That’s your edge. You don’t need to be the loudest to leave an impression. You just need to be real, even if that means being the person who skips the cocktail hour and ends up making a great connection during a quiet breakfast chat instead.
So if you’re gearing up for a legal event and dreading the social marathon, let yourself off the hook. You’re not there to charm the crowd. You’re there to engage with the people who matter to your work, your values, and your future.
Don't avoid those conferences for fear of networking. Go! Learn and grow; just reframe your mind about networking, and go at it in your style. And trust me, they’ll remember you, not because you were the loudest, but because you were genuine.
