You know that voice and tone you use when a friend or family member suffers a professional blow or makes a mistake? It’s likely kind, forgiving, encouraging, and supportive. It takes into account that this person is someone you love, respect, and know to be intelligent and capable. It acknowledges that we are so much more than our mistakes or missteps. It doesn’t judge or berate. What if we could use that same voice to speak to ourselves? What if we could look within and realize that we too are someone to be loved and respected because we are intelligent and capable? What if we recognized, in our own mind and heart, that we are much more than the sum of our mistakes? In fact, what if we could use those mistakes and setbacks as a springboard to future success? If we can intentionally speak to ourselves with a voice of self-compassion, the same compassion we have for others, we can spark a transformative growth journey!

Self-compassion sounds great, doesn’t it? I know, though, that there are likely business owners reading this and thinking it sounds too hippy-dippy for them and not like the most effective way to run a business. Those people may be thinking, “what about accountability?” As you know, Vista believes strongly in holding team members accountable, in setting expectations and in striving for intentional goals. Accountability and self-compassion are NOT mutually exclusive. Self-compassion does not require ignoring mistakes or not acknowledging failures. Rather, it allows for a mindset shift in understanding that failures WILL happen and that it’s not the end of the world when they do. In fact, it represents an opportunity for growth. Too, compassion opens the door for conversation about what happened this time and how it can go better the next time.

A growing body of research indicates that organizations that promote compassion enjoy not only a happier work environment but an improved bottom line! Compassionate employees are consistently more willing to help coworkers and clients. They build stronger relationships, boost productivity across the organization, promote healthy social connections, and report higher levels of job engagement.

How can you promote a culture of self-compassion and enjoy the benefits at your organization? It starts from within. Practicing self-compassion means:

• Being kind rather than judgmental about failures and mistakes.
• Recognizing that failures and mistakes are universal. They are a shared experience from which not a single one of us is immune.
• When mistakes and failures happen, practicing balance. It’s okay to feel bad or be unhappy, but don’t live in that space. Acknowledge it and go to your second thought – what did this teach me? How can I approach this better next time? How can I be more prepared and educated? How can I make this work?

A growth mindset starts with self-compassion. Without self-compassion, it’s easy to become defeated and to believe that your abilities are “fixed”…that you will never be capable of more than you are today. Being in a fixed mindset is dangerous and limiting. It causes people to feel stuck and not strive for more. Those who are able to acknowledge mistakes and use them as a learning opportunity are motivated to continue to improve. They are more likely to try a different tact. In other words, self-compassion is the building block for self-improvement. It is the spark for working harder, doing better, and believing improvement is a possibility.

Look at how much the legal industry has changed just over the last 10 years! In a fast-moving and technologically forward world, innovation is vital. Just as a growth mindset is fostered with self-compassion, innovation thrives in a compassionate environment. Team members who feel comfortable throwing out ideas, trying a new approach, or tackling a difficult assignment are those who help the business grow and innovate. We often learn what works by experiencing a series of things that don’t work. Allowing space for those experiments is critical to your business! Cultivating a culture of compassion and encouraging your team to acknowledge mistakes and failures without wallowing in them helps your business grow. It helps your team engage and connect with coworkers and clients. It truly is a win-win!

Practicing self-compassion (and it is a practice – as with any other self-improvement exercise, flexing the muscle often makes it stronger) leads to compassion for others. Treating yourself with kindness paves the way for treating others with compassion and reserving judgment. When firm leaders believe that change and improvement are possible, that trickles down to the team as well. It allows leaders to give constructive feedback and encourage their teams to be growth-minded.

For those reading this blog who are leaders in your organization and want to work at creating and fostering a culture of compassion, start first with yourself. If you find it difficult not to beat yourself up over setbacks, try a few self-compassion exercises. When something tough happens, write a letter to yourself as if you are writing to a friend who has had the same setback. Use language that is encouraging and understanding. Read it back to yourself. Use it to forgive and move on. Try looking for the lesson. What did this setback teach you about yourself or the project? Do you need more time to prepare next time? Do you need a different approach? Once you look within, use those same skills with your team. Accountability discussions can include an aspect of compassion. Encourage your team to practice self-compassion skills as well.