Well-being has always been important to me, but I didn't realize how important until the day I was driving to work two and half years ago, thinking, “I hope I don't die in a car accident today because I don't want to go out being this miserable.”

But how did I get to that point? I was like the poster child for well-being.

About 25 years ago, I wrote a book on stress management for busy women and have since shared the message of well-being and peak performance with more than 100 audiences nationwide. For 15 years, as a side gig, I was also a certified personal trainer and group exercise instructor. For decades, I have worked for and with service-driven organizations and currently have my own consulting practice that helps leaders reduce overwhelm and, at the same time, elevate the impact of their work.

With this experience and knowledge, you'd think I would know better than to get burnt out.

Driving Toward Burnout

For me, like many, a crisis of well-being really hit home during the pandemic. Just five weeks before the U.S. shutdown, I had moved 500 miles from Baltimore, MD, to Greenville, SC, to assume the role of Executive Director at a nonprofit organization.

What I walked into in that new role was a level of dysfunction and mismanagement that I had not imagined. Add the pandemic to the mix, and it became a literal struggle for survival—for myself and my organization. For the next two years, I led a complete 180° turnaround that put the organization back on solid financial footing, expanded its reach in the community, and gave it new life. But the experience drained the life out of me.

That day I was driving to work trying to “stay alive” was the day I knew something had to change. I had been the right person at the right time for that role, and that time had run its course for me.

So I gave several months’ notice, helped recruit and onboard my successor, and left her and my team with a strategic plan and enough cash in the bank to last a year. I felt good about the way I left. But the problem is, I never intended to leave my job after just two years. And, as you know, I’m not the only one who saw resigning as the best way out of the burnout. It’s amazing to me that so many are now considering quitting as one of their most coveted aspirations.

Making Well-Being Accessible and Achievable

It’s a sad state of affairs, especially considering the reality for most—that you can’t just quit and make all of the stresses of work go away. We must find a new way of looking at our lives and work that brings a different lens to what well-being means for all of us.

After reflecting on my experience, I realized that I had allowed my well-being to take a back seat to the achievements I wanted to make in my role. It’s a mistake that’s easy to make and often subconscious—yet it is the very thing that often leads us even further down the path to burnout and can ultimately make us less effective in our jobs.

To strengthen our resilience, the first step is to recognize that well-being is essential for our performance and long-term success. The second step is to believe that we can foster well-being regardless of our job title, schedule, or daily demands.

With those beliefs as our foundation, we can start by setting one well-being goal and committing to it. Ask yourself these questions as you consider your own physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual well-being:

• Where is my energy and satisfaction lowest?
• What really stands out to me as an area I WANT to change?
• Improving in which area will make the biggest difference in my well-being?
• What is one thing I need right now to take care of my well-being?

Use your answers to these questions to identify one well-being area or goal on which to focus.

Framing Your Goals for Success

Most people stop there—I have an idea or a goal, so let’s get on with it. But that can be a critical mistake.

The way we set our goals is important. In fact, it can make or break our ability to achieve them. Here are five ways to set goals that are motivating, doable, and sustainable.

1. To promote clarity, set SMART goals. SMART is an acronym for Specific, Measurable, Action-Oriented, Realistic, and Time-Bound. There are few things more frustrating than an unclear goal. How will you know what’s really expected or if you succeed if you haven’t set a clear expectation? The SMART formula creates clarity and a certain level of motivation and accountability.
   
   To put this framework into action, you can change a statement like, “I want to exercise more,” to a SMART goal like, “I want to walk for 15 minutes three days a week.”
2. To promote consistency, build small habits. Think to yourself—what is the minimally acceptable target I can create around this goal to keep me moving forward? You may have heard of James Clear, who is the author of Atomic Habits. He says for the best results, you should build small habits that you will be able to achieve even on your worst days. Those little things will lead to the big things because you can sustain them.
   
   To put this framework into action, you can change a statement like, “I am going to eliminate sugar from my diet,” to a small habit like, “I will skip dessert one day per week.”
3. To promote perspective, set a rule or boundary. Shane Parrish, an author and entrepreneur who studies mental models, as he calls them, says, “Eventually, everyone loses the battle with willpower. The only question is when.” He suggests instead to create clear rules or boundaries that align with your goals. These can serve as a personal litmus test for decision-making and how you spend your energy.
   
   To put this framework into action, you can change a statement like, “I want to get better sleep,” to a rule like, “I will not check email within an hour of going to bed.”
4. To promote prioritization, use the power of subtraction. Think about the difference between a painter and a sculptor. The painter adds color, texture, and strokes to her work, where a sculptor chips things away to create a masterpiece. When you think like a sculptor, you are more easily able to prioritize and focus on the things that are truly important. Instead of adding more to your to-do list, you are taking something away to create more of what you want.
   
   To put this framework into action, you can change a statement like, “I need to find time to read the books for book club,” to a subtraction like, “I am going to stop going to book club because I can never actively participate.”
5. To promote positivity, make your goals meaningful. New research on New Year’s resolutions found the best success with “approach goals” vs “avoidance goals.” Approach goals are the things we want to achieve versus avoidance goals, or the things we want to avoid.
   
   To put this framework into action, you can change a statement like, “I want to avoid people who drain my energy,” to an approach goal like, “I want to surround myself with people who lift me up.”

Gone are the days of all-or-nothing thinking. That’s what gets us into trouble in the first place. This means that your goal does not have to fit into all of these frameworks. Pick one goal and one framework to start you on your way.

When you embrace and commit to your own well-being, you’ll build the foundation for your long-term success and set an example for those around you. We could all use more of that in the workplace.

About the author Kim Fabian,
Chief Experience Officer of Elevatr:

Kim Fabian is the Chief Experience Officer of Elevatr, a consulting firm that helps non-profit and service-based organizations reduce overwhelm and elevate impact with a focus on strategy, process, and well-being. A leadership and communications expert, Kim’s background provides a wealth of experiences that inform her work and perspectives—as a nonprofit executive, corporate professional, business owner, and board chair. She has been recognized for her ability to develop and implement strategic vision, fuel transformational growth, and motivate teams through transparency and meaningful vision.

As a published author and seasoned speaker, Kim has made more than 100 presentations to a variety of audiences and appeared on radio, TV, and print outlets across the country, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, First for Women, Selling Power, Fit, Baltimore Magazine, Baltimore Business Journal, Greenville Journal, The Daily Record, and SmartCEO. She currently leads the well-being programming at the Dr. Nancy Grasmick Leadership Institute at Towson University.

Visit https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimfabian/ to follow her feed, gain mindful leadership strategies, and learn more about Elevatr’s services.