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The Anti-Athlete: Lessons I Learned from Not Playing Sports

byMary Ellen Murrah

A few weeks ago, my teammate, friend, and Vista Focus Specialist Caroline Younger authored a blog on the lessons she learned from playing sports that have translated to her career and leadership style. Read about her journey with sports and success by clicking here. As I read through Caroline’s stellar athletic accomplishments and applicable lessons, I had flashbacks to my youth in sports: a gangly and awkward running style, impressive LACK of coordination, and regular gym class panic attacks. I was taken back to silently praying not to be picked last as popular captains chose teams for in-school games, my heart racing as more and more of my classmates’ names were called.

These days, as a parent of an athletically skilled child (maybe it skips a generation?), organized sports can still leave a bad taste in my mouth. I routinely observe shockingly bad behavior on the sidelines, mostly from parents! I’m often surprised by the lack of respect and lack of sportsmanship that runs rampant in organized youth athletics. From shouting out opposing players’ names to screaming at refs (who mostly don’t deserve it!), my mouth is agape as I witness sideline adult behavior.

I realized that while Caroline and I have tremendous respect for each other and work quite well together, our experiences and backgrounds shaped us in very different ways. She has embraced the experiences and lessons sports taught her, and I have embraced the experiences and lessons an adversity to sports has taught me. There are important leadership lessons to be gleaned from both experiences.

This is what I learned about leadership from NOT playing sports:

A good leader knows how to inspire and motivate their team:

You may have heard the adage that some people need a kick in the butt and some a pat on the butt? It’s true in sports and in leadership. Had someone taken time to make me feel safe and supported to try something new in the sports arena, maybe what 23&Me has identified as my “elite athlete gene” (haha) would have come to fruition? Let’s face it, each of us has different strengths. It’s absolutely vital to put kids, and team members, in the place of most potential. Your introverted database developer will not succeed in a high-profile sales role and vice versa. And you know what? That’s okay! Both roles have merit and necessity. I discovered an uncanny ability to successfully play beer pong and horseshoes in college. Turns out my aim, concentration, and competitive spirit can really come alive under the right set of circumstances!

Promoting the wrong people can be damaging:

Promoting the wrong team members into leadership positions can have far-reaching effects. It can breed a lack of trust if your team sees leadership get something so vital so wrong. The wrong leaders may have a disastrous effect on productivity and can even cause unnecessary and costly turnover. Just like those captains choosing teams in elementary school, chosen for their perceived prowess on the field and not for their humility or ability to work with others, the wrong leaders cause others to shrink down, not thrive.

I think it’s important for leaders to recognize the potential in those around them, whether they are experienced or new professionals, and foster their growth through guidance and opportunity. As leaders, we should strive to create an environment where everyone can thrive – not just the most experienced or educated. Compassion and understanding will help create an environment that encourages everyone to grow, learn, and reach their full potential.

This is something I continue to strive for as a leader in my current role. By creating an atmosphere of support, recognition, and opportunity, leaders can build strong relationships with those around them, develop trust between team members, and foster an environment of growth. We can then use this to create a culture of excellence that will benefit everyone in the long run. This is something I am passionate about and believe in strongly.

Address the behavior, not the person:

As a parent on the sidelines, I believe my only role is one of support and positivity. I’m not the coach, I am responsible for parenting only one child on that field, and I don’t believe that during the game is the time to criticize or negatively comment about a mistake or an opportunity for improvement. Yet, I routinely witness other parents yelling instructions from the sideline or criticizing their own child and sometimes, even worse, someone else’s child. I’ve heard, “you don’t even know what passing the ball means!” more times than I’d care to admit sitting on the sidelines at a 12-year-old’s soccer game. Folks, this isn’t the way! If you’re leading by criticizing a person, I can almost guarantee that is not an effective way to address issues or correct undesirable behavior. And, it certainly won’t work if you’re doing it when you’re not even in a leadership position or a position of trust. When one of your team members is having a performance issue, the first step should be to address the behavior. Instead of accusing that person of being lazy and not wanting to work, ask about the troubling behavior. Saying, “I’ve noticed that for two weeks in a row, you’ve missed your client contact targets. What’s going on?” opens the door for a conversation and not a lashing. It addresses the problematic behavior and not the person themselves.

It’s not always about more playing time:

On my son’s soccer league, we recently went through a bit of drama where some parents were annoyed by the coach’s call to put in less skilled players when the game was no longer close. Their team is good. In fact, they are undefeated this season so far. Some of the games had our team up pretty significantly, so the coaches used that opportunity to give some of the newer or shier players a chance to be on the field and maybe score a goal. What I saw as a fantastic opportunity to develop another player’s skill and confidence, some parents saw as an annoyance that their star athlete got less playing time on the field. Yes, in business, of course we want success and to make decisions that further the business. As leaders, we also know that our team needs time to develop. It can be an effective leadership strategy to give a stretch assignment to one of your team members and allow them to rise to the occasion. Plucking them from the proverbial bench into playing time can be the motivation they need to succeed. Maybe playing time, as it translates to your firm, means time in court, maybe it means taking the lead on a project. At Vista, playing time can be speaking at a conference or during a webinar. Playing time during the game, though, is only the end result of getting a lot of fundamental things right. Mixing up who is on the field can yield surprising results and draw out the talent of someone you may not have noticed as much before.

The little things ARE the big things:

A word of encouragement from a gym teacher or coach, parents showing up on the sidelines to truly cheer on the team, a player helping another player up after an injury or a defeat…all these things matter. They show your team that regardless of a trophy at the end of the season, they are part of something bigger, something where all roles have merit. The kid on the sidelines who cheers the loudest and high-fives everyone coming off the field plays an important role. They are the current and future culture-builder! Getting the small things right means that when things get big, your team is ready.

Leadership isn’t just about the high-end, big picture. Leadership starts with small details, like making sure everyone knows their assignment and holding them accountable for executing it. Leadership is understanding that you are part of something bigger than yourself. Whether you learned your skills on the field or off it, you can be poised for success. To all my fellow leaders out there who get through a run looking wild and uncoordinated or who think, “run? Why run?”, I promise your experience with athletics and really anything else in life that has the power to shape you from a young age, gives you lessons on leadership if you take the time to listen.

Learn More About The Author

Mary Ellen Murrah
https://vistact.com/who-we-are/mary-ellen-murrah/

Mary Ellen Murrah

Operations Consultant | Vista Strategist
Vista Consulting Team
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Recent Posts

  • Set Your Mind Right: Hiring With Intention Tuesday, March 21, 2023 |
  • The Anti-Athlete: Lessons I Learned from Not Playing Sports Tuesday, March 14, 2023 |
  • What Comes Next: Supporting Succession in Law Firms Tuesday, March 7, 2023 |
  • Get Your Head in the Game: Parallels Between Leadership and Sports Tuesday, February 28, 2023 |
  • Stand by Me: The Beauty of Loyalty in the Workplace Tuesday, February 21, 2023 |

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Ciera Parks

Ciera Parks is a Human Resources Executive with 15 years of experience working in higher education, manufacturing, nonprofits, cannabis, e-commerce, and technology. Ciera advises and partners with businesses on their HR needs to develop strategies that improve workplace culture through customized alignment and training. She has a proven track record of success in developing people strategies that drive performance, improve efficiency, and increase profitability. On top of this, Ciera is well-versed in building effective organizational structures and diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) topics.

Ciera’s professional accomplishments in the human resources field include a Master’s Degree in Human Resources Development and a Certification from the Society for Human Resources Management. Ciera has also been elected as The Community Involvement Director and Professional Development Chair for two of Amazon’s employee resource groups (ERGs), been selected as the Director for Diversity & Inclusion by CHRA, and is the President of neXco’s National Cannabis Chapter. These honors are a result of her commitment to leadership and skill development for all workforce populations.

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Capping a twenty-five-year career in which he served as chief marketing officer and executive vice president, Scott Miller currently serves as FranklinCovey’s special advisor on thought leadership, leading the strategy, development, and publication of the firm’s bestselling books and thought leadership. Miller hosts the FranklinCovey-sponsored On Leadership with Scott Miller, the world’s largest and fastest-growing weekly leadership podcast, reaching more than six million people. Miller also authors a leadership column for Inc.com, hosted the weekly iHeartRadio show Great Life, Great Career with Scott Miller, and hosts and moderates FranklinCovey’s Bookclub.com series with world-renowned authors.

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Kendall Abbott

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Kendall has worked in the personal injury realm for the last seven years, serving as the Firm Administrator and later the Director of Office Operations for a prestigious plaintiff firm in North Carolina. There her leadership mission was to implement solid systems and processes that created an optimal client experience, encouraged firm growth, and expanded the firm’s reach.  Prior to becoming the Firm Administrator, Kendall created, developed, and managed the firm’s intake department.  Her deep expertise in all aspects of a successful personal injury law firm will help her guide Vista clients toward new levels of growth.

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Tim Mckey

Tim co-founded Vista Consulting in 2009, along with his partner Chad Dudley. Vista’s aim was to help plaintiff law firms reach their full potential. In December 2017, Tim acquired Chad’s interest in Vista. Tim and Chad remain very close friends to this day! Tim has decades of CPA experience with local, regional, and national CPA firms. However, it is through Tim’s prior consulting practice that he found his passion. He has worked with many business owners, assisting them with defining and attaining success in their business and personal lives. Developing a management philosophy with business owners along with the associated systems and processes that assist in delivering outstanding management to Vista’s client teams is Tim’s forté.

Dr. Heather Carroll

Dr. Heather Carroll holds a Doctor of Business Administration in Industrial and Organizational Psychology. She specializes in areas such as job satisfaction, motivation, burnout, and organizational commitment, particularly as these workplace factors apply to the legal industry.

During her nearly 20 years of legal experience, she has held many roles from Case Manager, to Litigation Paralegal, to HR Manager, to Firm Operations Administrator. The majority of Dr. Carroll’s legal experience has been in the area of personal injury. However, she began her legal career at a labor union by assisting in the negotiations of a new collective bargaining agreement between a major US airline and their pilot group. It was through that experience that her interest in team and operational matters, within a legal setting, took root. Many years, and a doctorate, later helping legal teams thrive through increased operational efficiency is her passion.

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Ryan joined the Vista team in 2014 as a Programmer. He has more than fifteen years of experience working in various finance and accounting roles with a strong background in IT and management information systems. Ryan codes in Visual Basic and is an expert with all Microsoft products. He works closely with Vista’s Operations Consultants to build out custom dashboards for our clients. These dashboards become integral in our clients’ success. Ryan is skilled at assessing and understanding our clients’ requirements and translating those into clear and concise reporting tools that allow our clients to improve firm operations.

Mary Ellen Murrah

Mary Ellen Murrah joined the Vista Team in 2019. Prior to joining Vista, Mary Ellen spent more than 16 years managing and marketing a national, legal case management software company. That position introduced her to thousands of personal injury law firms across the country. She was a familiar face at annual legal events and a frequent voice on topics ranging from legal marketing to data integrity. Over the years, she’s forged meaningful relationships with legal vendors, which has provided keen insight on almost every corner of the legal industry. She is skilled in identifying law firm business improvement opportunities and brings her extensive operations, team management, and industry knowledge to the Vista team. Mary Ellen has a true passion for tackling projects with common sense management. Her eye for detail, human resources experience, and deep operations skills are an asset to help law firms grow their businesses and help attorneys foster and maintain efficient, profitable practices.

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Stephanie Demont Mastroni

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